urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:betrayed_hopes betrayed_hopes betrayed_hopes 2006-10-16T00:36:41Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:betrayed_hopes:1224 2006-10-16T00:36:41Z 2006-10-16T00:36:41Z My hands are cold,<br />my body is numb..<br />I'm begining to cry...<br />what have I done?<br />Lifeless.. and alone.<br />Its nothing knew...<br />but I was in love with you.<br />break my heart.....<br />throw it away...<br />its just a little game people like to play...<br />I love you then, like I love you now...<br />broken and unforgiven...<br />this is it...<br />my happy ending.<br /><br /><br />....................<br /><br /><br /> <br /><br />Make it stop...<br /><br />Around and around...<br />spinning in circles, upside down...<br />d'welling in the thought of you...<br />I'm making myself sick.<br />Make it stop..<br />put the pain away...<br /><br />Tell me you don't care...<br />Tell me you don't love me...<br />Tell me anything but what I want to hear..<br /><br />I find my heart calling out to you...<br />I find myself a mess...<br />I wish there was something I could do..<br />Make it stop.<br />I wish I could take your pain away...<br /><br />I miss staring in your eyes...<br />I miss the long night talks..<br />I miss the little things...<br />the way you felt so soft..<br />I never want to let you go....<br /><br />I lie in bed, my eyes wide open..<br />remembering everything... as it runs thru my head.<br />I see your smile... I hear your laugh...<br />It's driving me crazy... I want it back.<br /><br /><br />............<br /><br /> <br /><br />Sadly.<br /><br />I smile in the sadness,<br />you're always on my mind.<br />It's like you can fulfil my tainted soul..<br />And love me, for the way I am.<br />The breaking of my heart...<br />the blood of my hands..<br />can't compare...<br />to the love I have for you...<br />This akward stillness, isn't making sense.<br />The fact that I can't seem to figure things out...<br />and that...<br />I'm far from being fixed..<br />Its strange to me...<br />the way that I am..<br />Yet, I call myself normal...<br />And you'll never see...<br />And sadly...<br />You'll never be more than a friend.<br /><br />............................................................................<br /><br /><br />I find myself...<br />stumbling across the words,<br />I want to say.<br />I find myself depressed..<br />for reason that don't make sense.<br />I want more ....<br />My soul... is searching...<br />for something, I can't find.<br />The tears fall from my eyes...<br />I feel so alone, hopeless..<br />I don't want to be this way.<br />Why do I feel.. so unwhole.<br />Why do I wish I'd rather be dead?<br />Strangly... I pretend.<br /><br /><br />...................<br /><br />I have all these unanswered questions...<br />my soul...<br />my mind..<br />my heart..<br />Its not letting go.<br />It's trapping me,..<br />in this hell..<br />Tearing at my flesh..<br />Torminting me...<br />until theres nothing left.<br />But I smile ..<br />and pretend it will be different tomorrow..<br />pretend...<br />I'm just like the rest.<br /><br /><br />..........................<br /><br /><br />I don't want to love you,<br />for the fear I might lose.<br />I don't want to cry for you...<br />for the fear I might die.<br />I don't want to long for you..<br />for the fear, I'll never be alive.<br />I don't want to ask for anything...<br />I have nothing left.<br /><br />.......................<br /><br /><br />Forgive me for the way I am...<br />Forgive me, for the things I should do..<br />Forgive me, ....<br />for the sorrow I caused you..<br />Forgive me... I'm a mess.<br />Forgive me, I can't confess.<br />Forgive me for lying to myself so long..<br />Forgive me, I wished I was dead...<br />Forgive me, for the pain I brought myself..<br />Forgive me, I can't change. <br /><a href="http://pics.livejournal.com/betrayed_hopes/pic/00009rdq/"><img src="http://pics.livejournal.com/betrayed_hopes/pic/00009rdq/s320x240" width="264" height="240" border="0" /></a> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:betrayed_hopes:891 2006-10-16T00:29:54Z 2006-10-16T00:29:54Z My hearts is breaking,<br />As the world spins on by.<br />My eyes have no more tears to cry.<br />I lost my protector and my friend.<br />The one person I always turned to.<br /><br />No matter where I was,<br />you'd be there to lend a hand.<br />You'd tell me to be strong,<br />and that I didn't need a man.<br /><br />I feel I'm slipping away...<br />away from this life.<br />My heart is beginning to go cold..<br />My body is so weak, I have no soul.<br />I'm tired of losing everything I love.<br />You told me to follow my dreams<br />and you'd tell me about Gods love.<br /><br />I hope you've found peace,<br />and I know you'll always be in my heart.<br />But I never thought we'd be so far apart<br /><br />I know the pain is gone for you,<br />and your surrounded by God's grace.<br />I have no will to try.<br />Its too hard to say goodbye.<br />And I lost it all,<br />when I lost you.<br /><br /><br />~Rip, I love you pappy. ~<br /> <br /><a href="http://pics.livejournal.com/betrayed_hopes/pic/00008cgq/"><img src="http://pics.livejournal.com/betrayed_hopes/pic/00008cgq/s320x240" width="320" height="228" border="0" /></a> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:betrayed_hopes:610 2006-10-16T00:19:50Z 2006-10-16T00:19:50Z Drifting into the shadows,<br /><br />following the silence...<br /><br />I'm tired of trying...<br /><br />I have nothing left to give.<br /><br />I don't know what they want from me...<br /><br />I can't promise something, I don't plan to keep.<br /><br />I wont lie to you, in order to make you happy.<br /><br />I wont stop loving, just because you want me to.<br /><br />I stand in the shadows,<br /><br />looking back to whats left of me,<br /><br />Take all you want,<br /><br />Break me-<br /><br />I'm not whole.<br /><br />I just laugh and smile,<br /><br />because theres nothing left of me.<br /><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://pics.livejournal.com/betrayed_hopes/pic/00007kft/"><img src="http://pics.livejournal.com/betrayed_hopes/pic/00007kft/s320x240" width="180" height="240" border="0" /></a> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:betrayed_hopes:504 2006-10-15T16:16:06Z 2006-10-15T16:16:06Z Okay, I got this again. Even tho I don't know why. I don't really like the setup of it. And it kinda makes me sick to my stomach. Ugh. Lame.<br /><br />Anyways.. Hello.