My hands are cold,
my body is numb..
I'm begining to cry...
what have I done?
Lifeless.. and alone.
Its nothing knew...
but I was in love with you.
break my heart.....
throw it away...
its just a little game people like to play...
I love you then, like I love you now...
broken and unforgiven...
this is it...
my happy ending.


....................




Make it stop...

Around and around...
spinning in circles, upside down...
d'welling in the thought of you...
I'm making myself sick.
Make it stop..
put the pain away...

Tell me you don't care...
Tell me you don't love me...
Tell me anything but what I want to hear..

I find my heart calling out to you...
I find myself a mess...
I wish there was something I could do..
Make it stop.
I wish I could take your pain away...

I miss staring in your eyes...
I miss the long night talks..
I miss the little things...
the way you felt so soft..
I never want to let you go....

I lie in bed, my eyes wide open..
remembering everything... as it runs thru my head.
I see your smile... I hear your laugh...
It's driving me crazy... I want it back.


............



Sadly.

I smile in the sadness,
you're always on my mind.
It's like you can fulfil my tainted soul..
And love me, for the way I am.
The breaking of my heart...
the blood of my hands..
can't compare...
to the love I have for you...
This akward stillness, isn't making sense.
The fact that I can't seem to figure things out...
and that...
I'm far from being fixed..
Its strange to me...
the way that I am..
Yet, I call myself normal...
And you'll never see...
And sadly...
You'll never be more than a friend.

............................................................................


I find myself...
stumbling across the words,
I want to say.
I find myself depressed..
for reason that don't make sense.
I want more ....
My soul... is searching...
for something, I can't find.
The tears fall from my eyes...
I feel so alone, hopeless..
I don't want to be this way.
Why do I feel.. so unwhole.
Why do I wish I'd rather be dead?
Strangly... I pretend.


...................

I have all these unanswered questions...
my soul...
my mind..
my heart..
Its not letting go.
It's trapping me,..
in this hell..
Tearing at my flesh..
Torminting me...
until theres nothing left.
But I smile ..
and pretend it will be different tomorrow..
pretend...
I'm just like the rest.


..........................


I don't want to love you,
for the fear I might lose.
I don't want to cry for you...
for the fear I might die.
I don't want to long for you..
for the fear, I'll never be alive.
I don't want to ask for anything...
I have nothing left.

.......................


Forgive me for the way I am...
Forgive me, for the things I should do..
Forgive me, ....
for the sorrow I caused you..
Forgive me... I'm a mess.
Forgive me, I can't confess.
Forgive me for lying to myself so long..
Forgive me, I wished I was dead...
Forgive me, for the pain I brought myself..
Forgive me, I can't change.

My hearts is breaking,
As the world spins on by.
My eyes have no more tears to cry.
I lost my protector and my friend.
The one person I always turned to.

No matter where I was,
you'd be there to lend a hand.
You'd tell me to be strong,
and that I didn't need a man.

I feel I'm slipping away...
away from this life.
My heart is beginning to go cold..
My body is so weak, I have no soul.
I'm tired of losing everything I love.
You told me to follow my dreams
and you'd tell me about Gods love.

I hope you've found peace,
and I know you'll always be in my heart.
But I never thought we'd be so far apart

I know the pain is gone for you,
and your surrounded by God's grace.
I have no will to try.
Its too hard to say goodbye.
And I lost it all,
when I lost you.


~Rip, I love you pappy. ~

Drifting into the shadows,

following the silence...

I'm tired of trying...

I have nothing left to give.

I don't know what they want from me...

I can't promise something, I don't plan to keep.

I wont lie to you, in order to make you happy.

I wont stop loving, just because you want me to.

I stand in the shadows,

looking back to whats left of me,

Take all you want,

Break me-

I'm not whole.

I just laugh and smile,

because theres nothing left of me.

Okay, I got this again. Even tho I don't know why. I don't really like the setup of it. And it kinda makes me sick to my stomach. Ugh. Lame.

Anyways.. Hello.